Widow Words
by Marcia A. Curran

Press Release Early Praise About the Author Sidebar and Story Ideas Excerpts Book Cover Author Photo




For New Widows
Unique Book Makes a Loving Gift of Empathy

When a husband has died, the new widow’s world is shaken to the core. It doesn’t matter how “independent” or “dependent” the relationship may have seemed to others. When a marriage ends because the husband has died, the wife will grieve in ways no one else can know. No one else except another widow.
“There are no words to describe waking up the first morning after your husband has died and thinking I’m a widow. How can this be? What am I going to do?” writes Marcia A. Curran, author of Widow Words: 100 Simple Pieces of Advice from Another Widow. “Some inner strength gets you through . . . but the days, weeks, and months afterward are full of unrelenting see-saws of emotions. I know how you feel because I had the same feelings when my husband died.”
Curran is a journal writer. Having kept a journal for years, it was natural for her to continue writing journal entries after her husband died. Her book distills the most helpful ideas from those entries to help other new widows get through the first few days, months, even years of life without their partners.
“Each thought, idea, and practical suggestion,” continues Curran, “has been personally experienced by me. I am not a doctor or a grief counselor. I am a widow who loved and lost her husband.”
For the recently widowed, one idea per page may be all they can read and take in just now. Widow Words offers 100 pieces of advice, one idea per page. The thoughts range from practical advice to bittersweet humor. They are the thoughts that only another widow could come up with to help at this time of personal turmoil. Simplicity and empathy define the entries. Here are some short examples:
Sell his truck (or car). Even the neighbors feel sad looking at it.
Investigate all funny noises in your home. You won’t think it’s so funny when the hot-water tank leaks onto your rug…
The salesperson at the makeup counter will help you make the right choice on lipstick. Splurge.
There is no law saying you can’t keep your side of the bed even though you can have either side now.
“I believe there is a special place for this book,” says grief counselor Marta Felber. “Two weeks after my husband died, a friend sent two of C. S. Lewis’s books. They sat on my shelf for months, unopened, until I could focus on his words. If only Widow Words had been available to me in the early days! I know I would have read many pages, and used chosen messages immediately.”—Marta Felber, grief counselor, widow and author, Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies and Grief Expressed When a Mate Dies.

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Marcia A. Curran is a journal writer, a mother, a grandmother, and a recovered widow whose husband died at age 56. She lives near Boston, MA.

To request a review copy of Widow Words, to arrange an interview with the author, or to have cover art sent electronically, please contact Kate Bandos at KSB Promotions: 800-304-3269 or 616-676-0758; fax 616-676-0759; kate@ksbpromotions.com

Widow Words
100 Simple Pieces of Advice from Another Widow
by Marcia A. Curran
Self-Help / Grieving
112 pages; 5.5 x 8.25; ISBN: 978-1-889242-33-0 / ISBN-10: 1-889242-33-0
$15.95 jacketed hardcover, pub date July 2007

Published by VanderWyk & Burnham, www.VandB.com
Distributed by National Book Network, Inc. (NBN)

Widow Words is available at bookstores nationwide, online, and at www.VandB.com or call 800-789-7916.

Please send two copies of any review or mention to
VanderWyk & Burnham; P.O. Box 2789; Acton, MA 01720-6789


Early Praise for Widow Words

Widow Words is a gift, for every widow in the early months and years of grieving. Each page stands alone, and offers concrete advice and encouragement. The reader sighs in relief, as she realizes, “The author knows how I feel. She tells me what to expect, and how I might handle each situation.”
Widow Words gives answers to questions facing a widow. How would a support group help me? Will the crying ever cease? When and how do I deal with his clothes? Will I have enough money? How can I possibly live through the anniversaries ahead? How do I keep my loved one alive, for me, and for my family? What can I do to feel better about myself? Now that I am head of the household, how do I handle everything? What is “normal” for a widow?
The beauty of this book lies in the author’s ability to say so much in a few words. Short passages may be all someone newly widowed can handle, and also easier for a widow still on the journey. The author has a soft and gentle touch. At times there is a hint of humor, bringing a smile, if only inside. Widow Words is a book to make one’s own. There is room to scribble dates, followed by what worked for the reader, personal feelings, and future plans. This book will be read over and over, with new insights from each reading.
—Marta Felber, grief counselor, widow, and author of Finding Your Way After
Your Spouse Dies and Grief Expressed When a Mate Dies.



About the Author

Marcia A. Curran is a journal writer, a mother, a grandmother, and a recovered widow whose husband died at age 56. She lives near Boston, Mass.
Curran started in-depth journal keeping in April of 1984. The journals are written in 8 x 11 spiral notebooks and are filled with day-to-day living, thoughts, reminiscences, and observations of the world around her. The journals are her way of preserving memories, and they have acted as a guide to her present and future books.
Curran’s interests include writing, gardening, cooking and baking, reading, and the British Royal Family. She lives with a Siamese cat named Paisley Elizabeth Topaz, in a little Cape Cod­style home crammed with treasures gathered at yard sales, flea markets, and auctions. She is the mother of three grown children and “Grammy” to seven grandchildren, and she is also a sister, a sister-in-law, an aunt, and a friend to her pals.
Curran maintains, “I never want to ‘lose sight of me.’ I think my strength in writing comes from my being a typical woman, and I want to stay that way.”


Sidebar and Story Ideas

Note: Although the book Widow Words speaks directly to widows, and the following ideas use the word “widows,” many of the ideas are equally valid for widowers.

1) Widows experience emotions unlike any they’ve ever experienced before.
2) Among the first people widows reach out to for understanding, support, and guidance are grief counselors and spiritual leaders (priests, ministers, rabbis).
3) Bereavement groups will find that each page of the book can lead to a discussion on how it pertains to different members.
4) Many widows are not strong readers or may be functionally illiterate, and they will find this book comforting in its simple statements of support and encouragement.
5) Women are prepared to be brides, wives, mothers, and grandmothers—but not to be widows. They should be prepared because it is the most difficult transition in a woman’s life. Unless we have a close friend or relative become widowed when we are old enough to comprehend her feelings, we are not prepared at all when it happens to us. Who wants to think about it? After all, this happens when you’re old, right? Think again. You can be widowed at any age—30s, 40s, 50s are not old. As hard as it may be, wives should have conversations with their husbands. They should discuss life support options and choices of funerals, burial plots, and especially life insurance policies. Can you support yourself? Not just to scrape by, week after week, but to live comfortably? Scrimping gets old fast. Mostly, you must be prepared to be overwhelmed by a sadness unlike anything you have ever felt before. This will be a time in your life when you question if you can ever be you again, ever know happiness again, or even care if you do. Enjoy and love your husband—but be prepared.


Excerpts

A Note from the Author


How could anyone except another widow understand what you feel when your husband dies? Oh, people might think they do, but let’s be honest—did you understand before it happened to you? I didn’t.

There are no words to describe waking up the first morning after your husband has died and thinking, I’m a widow. How can this be? What am I going to do? Some inner strength gets you through the wake and the funeral, but the days, weeks, and months afterward are full of unrelenting see-saws of emotions.

I’m here to proclaim the good news that you will find happiness again. I am a widow. I am also a journal writer. One day while reading a magazine article about “average” women’s journals, I got the idea to write about my personal experiences as a widow based on my “average” journals, which I had been keeping for years. Each thought, idea, and practical suggestion has been personally experienced by me. I am not a doctor or a grief counselor. I am a widow who loved and lost her husband.

I know how you feel because I had the same feelings when my husband died.

Here are my widow words, written to help you cope with your loss. May your path back to happiness be a journey without too many detours.

Excerpts above and below from Widow Words by Marcia A. Curran,
copyright 2007, published by VanderWyk & Burnham


Sample Pieces of Advice


He loved you and you loved him. Simple—True—Precious.


Good friends don’t mind if you show up uninvited for a cup of tea and to talk.


Sell his truck (or car). Even the neighbors feel sad looking at it.


Investigate all funny noises in your home. You won’t think it’s so funny when the hot-water tank leaks onto your rug. Learn how to use a fire extinguisher and change a smoke alarm battery. Buy a carbon monoxide alarm and have a shutoff put on your washing machine.


Believe in yourself. We all have an inner strength that some people never have to use, but others do. It’s there.


There is no law saying you can’t keep your side of the bed even though you could have either side now.


Checking the obituary column to see if anyone else died at your husband’s age is normal.


Think. Don’t you want to leave your children and grandchildren the legacy that you had the courage to go on without him?


Our children are our children. Our husband was our husband. Enough said.




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